about Amber lilika mayes
I am…
an African American & Greek, gen X, heterosexual, cisgender woman. I grew up in the Boston area with a middle class family in a racially diverse, working class neighborhood. Raised in a multicultural household by an African American father from Georgia and an immigrant mother from Tinos, Greece, I developed an early passion for helping people communicate across differences. In the past 25 years, I have developed a global leadership coaching practice that integrates issues of diversity, equity, and inclusion. My passion is coaching leaders in marginalized social identity groups to help them hone their authentic leadership style and navigate biased systems that tell them they are “not enough.” I am based in Northern California. I am a stepmom of two incredible women and a proud auntie of the best 11-year-old on the planet!
My educational experience includes a BA with a major in Psychology from Harvard University, a Masters in Organization Development from American University, and multiple coaching certifications. My coaching practice integrates motivational psychology, neuroscience, Co-active coaching, Gestalt theory, and more. My extensive organization consulting background provides a “systems-level” perspective to coaching. My career specialization in the field of Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, Accessibility & Belonging gives me a depth of insight and expertise that supports those navigating biased systems.
Alongside my coaching practice, I am cofounder of Fifth Domain Coaching - a coach training organization offering experiential, ICF accredited workshops. Our programs equip professional coaches with the skills necessary to effectively navigate coaching across social identities.
“Make every effort to change things you do not like. If you cannot make a change, change the way you have been thinking. You might find a new solution.”
My mission is…
to help leaders develop the self-awareness, skills and confidence necessary to effectively and inclusively lead organizations resulting in a more compassionate, equitable, sustainable world.
here’s a glimpse
into my own path of discovery and what led me to where I am today…
Growing up, I was told that who I was wasn’t ok. My mixed race background created an internal identity that very few accepted in my outer world. I received overt and covert messages from family, friends, team members, leaders that I was not “right” the way I was.
The beauty of being able to be a part of multiple worlds was countered by the pain of never fully fitting in any of them. I successfully bridged cultural differences because I needed to do so to survive in the world.
In addition to being told I was not white enough or black enough, when I entered the business world I was also told I was not masculine or old enough. It was not said in those words, but the code words were clear… if I could just act the way other leaders (a.k.a white, boomer, straight, cis men) did it, I would succeed!
My choices were clear to me.
I could either believe the messages I received and change myself to fit the systems I was in or I could double down on owning my own value and find the support I needed to do so. I chose the latter. I built my own flourishing leadership and coaching business by surrounding myself with people who helped me say “yes” to who I was and go after the work I wanted to do.
Over two decades later I am thrilled to be able to help other leaders find their voice, their path, and their authentic leadership presence. It is my sincere pleasure to help clients liberate themselves from the internalized messages they have inherited born of the marginalizing systems in which they live and lead. Through working with me, some clients choose a new career path, some choose to stay and thrive in their current role, and virtually all clients build the systems, boundaries and self acceptance necessary to live their purpose while being all of who they are. Escaping greater societal biases and “isms” is not possible, but making choices within those systems that free you from their psychic prison is!
Are you Ready…
to see yourself in a whole new light? Let’s get the ball rolling!